[Tig] Rank Cintel Days - Pure Nostalgia

Eric Sykes ericsykes23 at outlook.com
Fri Dec 25 09:32:51 GMT 2015

Hello chaps,

It's the season for reminiscences from those Rank Cintel days: pure nostalgia!  

I'm an executive at the Rank Organisation HQ in Stanhope Place: we monitor the performance of our constituent companies, keeping an eye on their financial contribution, observing compliance with our code of practice, looking into complaints and forecasting the outlook for each subsidiary.

Back in the 70s and 80s Cintel made a stellar contribution financially but there was always a steady rumbling of complaints in the background.  We never understood why "shading" made it to the top of the list of concerns, couldn't they simply make a machine with smooth shading when they had all that expertise?  Remember TOPSY?  Your first encounter with a software bug.

It got worse, we came across bad designs, Friday afternoon machines, salesmen who didn't get up and sell, dysfunctional service personnel who couldn't use an oscilloscope or read a circuit diagram then ran away, fee refunds for useless training courses, production line controllers promoted beyond their capabilities, digiscan noise, overheating, unreliability, increasing numbers of irate customers.  To top it all they did some very dodgy deals in certain third world countries in contravention of our code of practice: if that happened now those operatives would be spending quite some time behind bars. 

It was quite a headache for us but we identified two, yes, just two, participants in the sector who had the necessary skills and in depth understanding to sort it all out: Mr Michael Waldie in the UK and Mr David Corbitt in the US.  We planned to make these gentlemen our Managing Directors to overhaul the business but suddenly we didn't need to, we received an offer we couldn't refuse from Schroeder Ventures so we offloaded the company and concentrated on more profitable business.  Interestingly Schroeders didn't hang onto Cintel for long, they sold it on to a millionaire speculator: how did he become a millionaire?  Well, he used to be a billionaire but then he bought Rank Cintel.  

Eric Sykes
Rank Organisation Plc
Stanhope Place
020 7262 9886


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